I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
