Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
