How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
