i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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