Yo dont text me then not text me
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
