Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
