There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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