your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
