Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
