I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
