you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
