btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
