wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
