It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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