Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
