Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
