Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
