The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
