told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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