yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
