I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
