I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
