Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
