i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
