hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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