The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
