There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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