This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
