You're my little dorito
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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