Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
