i just wanna soil my oats bro
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
