You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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