So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
