dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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