They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
