One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
