what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
