My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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