you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
