she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
