I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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