Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
