jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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