You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i was born a porn star she said
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
