Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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