And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
