Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
