I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
