Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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