This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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